If I hear one more time…someone say to someone else…“just be yourself” I’m going to scream!
“Oh, Danielle…just be yourself” I heard her say. I was standing in the check-out line at Target behind two women who were deep into conversation; I think they were talking about a guy. Anyway, Danielle didn’t respond. Instead she looked bewildered and confused, probably because she thought she was being herself. I watched her smile fall flat as her head slowly bent down; it was as though she felt ashamed.
I was busting at the seams; I wanted say something. But I didn’t. I leaned over my cart with the 20 pound bag of dog food, light bulbs and a pack of Gummy Bears (one of my many vices) as I pretended not to listen. I was thinking…yeah, Danielle, I wouldn’t have responded to that ridiculous suggestion either!
What does the sender think the receiver will do with that information? Smack their forehead with a wow, great idea, I wished I had thought of that!
Years ago I remember someone suggesting that I too, just be myself. The problem was that I couldn’t remember who I was before the electrocution, so I had no idea how I was supposed to be that person…myself. And the person I was becoming well, let’s just say…I wasn’t paying any attention to her.
Then eventually it occurred to me that had I abandoned my own image of myself. For me the question was and is…How do I know if I’m being myself?
That chunk of my life, between trying to be the girl they remembered, and the person I wanted to know, taught me the significance of knowing who I was. It also prepared me to work with my clients; how to help them see themselves within and outside of their families. Knowing yourself is not a touchy-feeley thing, it’s a necessity.
I’m talking about what makes you unique, what you believe in and stand for. Also knowing the difference between who others need you to be and who you need to be. So, start now, look around. You can get a quick snapshot of what you value. Think about what you’d grab if your house were on fire.
If you don’t take the time to know who you are, you run the risk of giving yourself away. You are too valuable to give yourself away. You are really all you have and you are worth knowing.
And, if you don’t know who you are, how are you going to know what you have to offer?
If someone ever says…just be yourself, I hope your response will be…I am.