Helping people find the roots of their anxiety can be difficult; it’s important to dig for the root instead of just treating the surface symptom. Yes, it’s more work, but the long term outcome can help you fully enjoy your life.
Getting to the root of anxiety can also be a challenge because “anxiety seeds” usually start small, and if they aren’t treated, can grow into great trees over a lifetime and also into full blown anxiety.
When I work with people trying to manage their anxiety, I usually start small and chip away at the behavioral layers that seem to have sheltered the anxiety. Sometimes the behaviors/actions have kept their anxiety alive because it supports some other issue.
For example, anxiety about getting out in public (agoraphobia), keeps you from socializing, which “you think” may keep you from being judged (root emotion). The truth is, some people judge others whether or not you avoid them (reality).
What I’ve learned is that everyday anxiety, the kind that doesn’t paralyze you, seems to be rooted in…what we think others think of us.
So how can we regulate this level of anxiety?
1. Get to Know Yourself. Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Think about and make a list (yes, write it down) of the skills you bring to the table (at home, work and community).
2. Look For Patterns. Are you anxious with some people and not others?
3. Think About Where You Fit. How your strengths contribute to making the system function.
4. Reflect. When we gain more self awareness we tend to think that others might NOT be as critical of us as we think. This insight goes a long way toward reducing some anxiety naturally.
5. Simple Self Talk. When all you need to do is just manage your anxiety, telling yourself “there’s nothing to be anxious about,” actually works. Why? Because our body’s (parasympathetic branch of our autonomic nervous system) takes cues from our thinking and can help to lower our heart rate. But, if it happens over and over and affects every part of your life, this is not the answer. Get help for this.
I know I say it over and over, even though many of us have never met…your life is important, so get the therapy you need to make the changes that will help you live as happily and as beautifully as you can!