The Nature of You
Why do some emotional reactions just seem to come out of the blue and leave you feeling like you don’t know yourself? It’s because these emotional reactions are rooted in self-protection, and to really understand them you need to know what’s working at your own roots.
How David’s Defense Almost Cut Him Out Of His Life
His name is David, and his marriage of 23 years was teetering on the edge of the end. He'd worked hard to get through medical school and a grueling residency and he and his wife, Tish, had recently paid off student loans. They were finally about to close on their...
What Are You Protecting Yourself From Feeling?
Humans and animals all react to protect themselves from physical threat. We hide and defend ourselves and also buy insurance policies and safer cars. Although I've worked in this field for years, I never thought about how we protect ourselves from emotional threat....
Her Locks and Channels
I attended the Hub City Writers Conference in Spartanburg, South Carolina. I wanted to learn more about writing so I signed up for a poetry class with Kate Daniels, Professor of Creative Writing, Vanderbilt University. I had never written a poem until that day and I...
Listening to Yourself Takes Guts
When I was about 14 years old I heard my mother’s friend say, “I guess I should be worried when I start talking to myself.” I really thought she was cool, but I was conflicted about what she’d said because it felt weird to me to not have some internal communication...
Giving Form to Feelings with Paint
“I feel stuck going back and forth on this decision,” she said. “I feel like it has power over me!” I get what she’s telling me, not just from a professional standpoint, but from a personal one too. Some decisions are easy to make, like...
One Tiny Peep
I found a baby bird and he lived for three days. I fed him with a syringe, and when he wasn’t sleeping nested in one of my old scarves, he danced around on my desk. We named him Peep. Peep died in front of me, about eight o'clock Sunday morning. I was sitting outside...
What Do You Say to Yourself When You Make a Mistake?
I get a feeling of sadness when I'm with someone who is constantly critical of themselves. Maybe it’s because I know how it plays out in the mind or maybe it’s because I had to get a grip on this myself. What I’ve learned is that this kind of self talk will eventually...
Why Do We Hide From The Truth
Why do we spend so much emotional energy hiding from the truth? Although I’d started and stopped tons of blog posts about how we communicate what we feel, nothing was coming together. So I thought I’d take a break. I told myself I was just distracted and busy and that...
