I don’t know the exact word she said that caused the a picture of a compass to pop into my mind, but I immediately put down my note pad and stood up. It’s like you have a compass in your heart, I said.
Since the heart-compass idea opened up a new therapeutic discussion for us, I decided to put my thoughts on paper for you:
When you’re a child your heart-compass naturally points in a direction that feels “right for you.” And you know it.
You want to wear your red cowboy boots 24/7 and you don’t care where you’re going or what anyone else thinks.
But your parents say, “no red cowboy boots in the bed or at church!” You whine and pout and eventually give in, and your heart-compass moved a tick or two away from its natural position.
Yes, I know there are times when you should compromise. So compromise, but know when to compromise and when to stay true to the gentle connection between what seems right and what feels right to you – the direction of your own heart-compass.
If you don’t know this connection you’ll automatically go with any suggestion anytime because you either don’t know or you don’t honor what feels right to you.
I’m not saying that you should disregard the needs of the people in your life. No….what I’m saying is that you matter too. And that there’s a big difference between compromise and abandon.
Here’s the kicker though: you can end up living your entire life several ticks away from the natural direction of your heart-compass.
And, you may eventually become frustrated and project your own self-anger on to someone else – maybe someone you agreed with earlier.
Ask yourself this question, “is this _____ right, for me?” Then answer.