by Lisa Holland, PhD | May 10, 2012 | General
I hear people talk about “closure” a lot – they’ll say something like, I just need to get closure on this. It seems they see closure as a psychological door that can permanently shut away their emotional pain. Okay, if closure supposedly shuts away the emotional...
by Lisa Holland, PhD | Apr 30, 2012 | General
It happened. I felt sad and conflicted and angry and hurt. No one said anything about it to me. No one offered me comfort. They acted like it never happened. But now, they say forget it. I question if was real – if what I’m feeling is real. I try to forget it,...
by Lisa Holland, PhD | Mar 22, 2012 | General
“I never thought of forgiving my eight year-old self,” Amanda said. We were discussing her reactions to a talk I’d just given to a women’s group titled, How What We Say To Ourselves Affects How We Feel. In the talk, I’d asked the women to think about a mistake they’d...
by Lisa Holland, PhD | Jan 13, 2012 | General
A few weeks ago I ran into one of my favorite professors from graduate school. We hugged and squealed and then I asked if she’d like to have coffee and catch up a bit? Oh, my gosh – well – I could – no – I better not, I have a million things to...
by Lisa Holland, PhD | Dec 13, 2011 | General
“Just give it time and you’ll be fine,” he told Allie. “I’m not worried about being fine right now Sam, this is sad and I want to feel it.” Just give it time, is a common fix-all response of people who mean well and of people who want to avoid feeling an emotion....
by Lisa Holland, PhD | Nov 25, 2011 | General
In my years of doing therapy I’ve come to see that acknowledgement is one of the easiest ways to calm an anxious heart. Acknowledging another person’s feelings can also help you make early connections as well as build and rebuild relationships. It’s...
