Are You A Ruminator?
Liz is angry at her husband’s doctor. Henry, her husband of twenty-one years died six months ago of heart related issues and Liz has been spitting mad ever since. When her friends ask if she’s talked about her feelings with the doctor, Liz screams… NO! ARE YOU...
Self Critical or Self Compassionate?
Last week I overheard two women talking in Target, “oh...I’m so stupid” one said to the other, “I can’t believe I forgot to make the cupcakes for her party, again.” I smiled as I pushed my cart past them, but I was wondering how calling herself stupid would affect...
Knowing What Feels Right For You
I don’t know the exact word she said that caused the a picture of a compass to pop into my mind, but I immediately put down my note pad and stood up. It’s like you have a compass in your heart, I said. Since the heart-compass idea opened up a new therapeutic...
Are You Too Uncomfortable To Offer Comfort?
Your relationships are living breathing systems that share, create, do and feel. Although each piece is important, you need feeling in order for your relationship to survive. Oh, wrong...your love relationship can can survive without feeling, but not very well or for...
There’s No Such Thing As Closure
I hear people talk about “closure” a lot - they’ll say something like, I just need to get closure on this. It seems they see closure as a psychological door that can permanently shut away their emotional pain. Okay, if closure supposedly shuts away the emotional pain...
Get Out of the Nowhere Place
It happened. I felt sad and conflicted and angry and hurt. No one said anything about it to me. No one offered me comfort. They acted like it never happened. But now, they say forget it. I question if was real - if what I’m feeling is real. I try to forget it, but I...
Do You Have Empathy For Yourself
“I never thought of forgiving my eight year-old self,” Amanda said. We were discussing her reactions to a talk I’d just given to a women’s group titled, How What We Say To Ourselves Affects How We Feel. In the talk, I’d asked the women to think about a mistake they’d...
Your Life Is Not A To-Do List?
A few weeks ago I ran into one of my favorite professors from graduate school. We hugged and squealed and then I asked if she’d like to have coffee and catch up a bit? Oh, my gosh - well - I could - no - I better not, I have a million things to do - what about March?...
